22 Family
and Friends
22.1 Parents
There is a Midrash that before we are born, we have all the spiritual
knowledge of our past lives and full comprehension about what we need to
accomplish in this lifetime. Nevertheless, at the moment of birth an angel
touches us just below the nose and we forget all we knew. We spend the rest of
our lives trying to find what we lost. And it is extremely important to find
what we have lost in this instance. There are many clues to discover
one’s role in life. A lot can be learned from our family. A soul will
choose a family in order to improve itself in areas of weakness. While in this
family there may be more conflicts, correction leads to greater personal growth.
One may also learn about oneself from one’s name. Who we are named after
affects our role in life. The day we are born will also have an effect.
Text
22-1: Worf to Nicholai as he takes the Chronicle of
Nicholai’s journey
I will take this to our parents. -They will not understand. They
might; I will tell them you are
happy.[1837]One of
the most important matters to our parents is that they want us to be happy.
Even G-d in the next life will ask us, “Did you enjoy my world?”
There is good and bad in each of the Jewish
movements.
[1838] Because of
the Reform movement, there is pressure on the Vatican to release the archives of
WWII Pope Plus XII who allied with Hitler mach shemo. Because of the
Conservative and Reform movements, pressure was exerted on Truman to approve the
State of Israel. While the Orthodox movement has kept us from adopting harmful
modern ways, they have kept to themselves mostly. Leftists were the first to
pick up the rifle to fight for
Israel.
[1839] “Keep your
friends close and your enemies closer” – Godfather’s
advice
Yichus“Merits of the family” literally.
The immediate family influences the child’s values and stability.
Image of G-dThe Ribono shel Olam cares more for the
well-being of marriages than for worship and recognition. This was the point of
the test of adultery where Hashem permits His name to be wiped out for the sake
of the marriage. Why is this the case? Why is our relationship to Hashem of
less significance then to others?
Thus, to live in the “Image of
G-d” is not to expect recognition from others. Hence, a good atheist may
rate as high in the eyes of Hashem as a believer. The key is how benevolent we
act towards others. For the sake of kindness for others, Hashem foregoes
recognition. The way we treat our spouse falls in this category.
Now
how will it be possible after death to feel closeness to Hashem if while we
lived we did not achieve this? Those that live in the “Image of
G-d” will be as a loving friend of Hashem in the world to come. The
relationship of a friend is different from that of servant. Both are worthy
goals.
Rediscovered JewIn a convention in Poland, a hidden
Jewish woman discovered that her brother was alive, 50 years after the
holocaust. During the war, she was left alone at the age of 14. She told the
authorities that she was Polish and an orphan. Since she didn’t look
Jewish and volunteered to work in a factory in Germany, she slipped by without
notice. The factory in Germany was forced labor, not like a concentration camp.
There she met someone and got married after the war in Poland. When he was very
sick, she finally told him that she was Jewish. She also had two daughters.
When the oldest daughter found out she was very disheartened as she held
negative Jewish opinions. The other daughter was ok with the news.
There was a convention in Poland for survivors of the war. At the
convention someone told her that there was a survivor from her hometown there.
This person was a friend of my aunt in Germany who told us about the story. She
had a brother who had survived the war in Russia and went to England after the
war. Fifty years later she traveled to England and had a reunion with a
brother. Her brother’s son was a lawyer in New York. He paid for her to
take a trip to New York where she met my uncle as well. When her daughter got
married in Poland her nephew traveled to the wedding in Poland. The daughter
getting married was shocked to find out she was Jewish but had adjusted by the
time of her wedding. The other daughter was ok to find out she was Jewish.
Mr Ripple Saves the Spiegel FamilyWhen my father’s
family was seeking a place to hide during the last year of the 2
nd
world war, my Grandfather contacted a friend of his by the name of Mr. Ripple.
Mr. Ripple had earlier enabled my grandfather to get work papers to go in and
out of the ghetto to collect down and feathers used by the German army for
pillows and clothing. Mr. Ripple told my Grandfather that he could not hide the
entire family and then said, but how can I send you away since I will never see
you again. My Grandfather replied to put his mind at ease, “I am only
seeking a place for my wife and daughter, my sons and I have already found
another place to hide.” This satisfied Mr. Ripple and my grandmother and
daughter took residency in the loft of the stable attached to the house. Mr.
Ripple provided food for them that they would lift up by rope. What Mr. Ripple
didn’t know is that my grandfather, uncle and father had snuck up to hide
in the loft as well. For the last six months he was not aware of this. My
grandfather continued to use his work papers to conduct business during the war
to acquire food to feed the rest of the family. He went through a serious bout
of typhus which the hay carried but survived the delirium. One day Grandfather
heard others talking about the Spiegel family, that they were hiding in the
area, and he felt that the talk could lead to some danger. He told a
friend’s wife to spread rumors this Sunday at church that the Spiegel
family had been caught hiding in some pipes near a construction site. When Mr.
Ripple and his wife went to church and heard the rumors, they came home and told
my Grandmother the tragic news that the rest of the Spiegel family had been
captured. My grandmother responded, “don’t you worry, Mr Ripple, my
husband and sons are in a hiding place just as good as this one, and to prove it
next week my husband will be here to meet you.”
This was how my
family survived the last six months of the war. Mr. Ripple was the German
magistrate of this region and a good man. There is no Hebrew word for
"supernatural" and there is a good reason for this. Instead the Hebrew word for
miracle is ‘nes’. Since my father’s family are holocaust
survivors, my grandmother, may she rest in peace would tell me the miracles of
how the family survived. There are miracles in this world and they have nothing
to do with “the supernatural”. To be a Jew is to be part of an
unbroken chain of survivors of persecution. There is no greater miracle than
after the thousands of years of persecution; the Jewish people survive and have
a vibrant tradition and inner beauty. On Yom Kipper during the Musaf service,
we read about the Ten Martyrs who died for their faith in G-d and unwillingness
to keep then the prohibition on teaching Torah. Because of folks like these and
the other millions of martyrs in our history we are Jews today. Some Christians
would dare paint us into a corner for denying the deification of a single
martyr, but we say in the words of the Aleinu prayer Isaiah 45:20 “For
they bow to vanity and emptiness and pray to a god which does not save”
since we are here, while the Byzantine Christians who would have destroyed us
are not.
22.2 Marriage
Abraham Abulafia sums up the mystical purpose of
marriage:
[1840]Text
22-2: Abraham Abulafia on
Marriage
The purpose of marriage of man and woman is none other than their union,
and the purpose of union is impregnation, and the purpose of impregnation is
[bearing] offspring, and the purpose of [offspring] is study [i.e., of Torah by
the child born], and the purpose of that is apprehension [of the Divine], whose
purpose is the continuing maintaining of the one apprehending with pleasure
gained from his
apprehension.[1841]The
first marriage that a man has is according to his Mazel in heaven. The second
marriage is determined according to the man’s quality as it says in Sotah,
“Hashem matches up two people according to the goodness of the
husband.” A voice goes out from heaven, “who a man’s wife
will be, whose house he will have, and where will be his field.” On the
day of his marriage a bridegroom is pardoned for all of his sins.
A
husband must strive to be a ‘mench’. To do this he must be willing
to suppress his own ego for the sake of his wife. If his wife criticizes him,
he should not counter. As Hashem was willing to permit His Name to be destroyed
in the test of adultery for the sake of marriage, so a husband may suppress his
ego in such disputes. Yet we are in this world to grow close to G-d so one
should marry a person who is on the same path.
‘How to be a mench
towards ones wife and also a practicing Jew’ is sometimes a
problem
[1842] To daven with a
minyan morning and evening can take time from ones wife especially if the work
schedule is demanding as well. Instead a husband may focus on his marriage with
highest priority especially during the first year where both are learning about
each other.
A husband should let his wife lead a conversation. This
will encourage her personal expression and self-esteem. This will help a
husband repair damage done by criticism. A wife wants to be looked upon well
in her husband’s eyes. She seeks his approval as we seek approval in the
eyes of G-d.
Attention and affection is the role of a husband towards his
wife.
[1843] When one wishes to
leave his house he should ask permission of his wife. This adds to her sense of
importance. It is good to sleep in the same room as one’s
wife.
[1844]It is a
mitzvah to marry the daughter of one’s sister. Because children tend to
resemble a wife’s brother, there will be natural affection between uncle
and niece or between cousins. Hashem answered the prayers of man and permitted
this union.
[1845] A woman
should try to be found, should try to marry her soul mate, and should try to
have her first child before the age of 30. We are commanded to guard our
health. Bearing a first child earlier in life is important in this
regard.
[1846] A woman must be
open to the possibility that an uncle or even a cousin could be her soul
mate.
A Kohen may not marry a divorcee, a profaned woman, or a woman who
has slept with non-Jews. A profaned woman is someone who was molested or raped.
In Hebrew, the term zona refers to a woman who has slept with non-Jews, i.e.
someone she could not marry. The term qedesha refers to a harlot, which is a
different category entirely. While these rules only apply to the Kohenim, one
should consider that the Torah is teaching that certain circumstances may make a
woman a greater risk to the functions that a priest must perform for the nation
of Israel. From the Talmud we learn that a convert to Judaism after the age of
three is classified as a zona because of the moral standards that the person was
likely exposed to. For example, a convert may have grown up in a house where
homosexuality was completely acceptable. Her marriage to a Jewish person may
preserve this tolerance affecting her own children one day. A Kohen is
prohibited from marrying a convert to avoid such situations, which could become
scandalous in the nation of Israel. If a Kohen marries a prohibited woman, has
vshalom, and has children they are categorized as hallalim, which essentially
means disgraced children. They are not however in the category of mamzirim who
are children of an adulterous women, i.e. a woman who is married to a different
Jewish man.
Text
22-3: A Truer Explanation One will never Find
A truer explanation you will never find,
I hate
the abominations though the people are all fine.
I say G-d bless the
Holy Lord, G-d bless the Holy Lord
I hate the abomination though
the people are all fine.
I say G-d bless the Holy Lord, G-d bless the
Holy Lord
A truer explanation you will never find
G-d bless
the Holy Lord, G-d bless the Holy Lord
One can hate the sin and not the sinner. This is the truer explanation.
Though homosexuality is an abomination, one does not persecute homosexuals and
one does not accept abomination. L’havdil, G-d gave us the Holy Name so
that we may be a holy people. This means that we separate ourselves from the
perversions of society and cling fast unto G-d. The truer explanation is that
there is only one G-d without division, multiple personality or persons, and G-d
gave us the Holy Name so that we may attach to Her. “G-d bless the Holy
Lord, G-d bless the Holy Lord.”
Text
22-4: Midrash Rabbah Genesis 22:2
In the past, Adam was created from the ground, and Eve from Adam; but
henceforth it shall be, “In our image, after our likeness” (Gen. I,
26): neither man without woman nor woman without man, nor the two of them
without Divine
Presence.[1847]
Upon
entering marriage, a Jewish husband is required by law to provide a home, food,
clothing, and conjugal rights for his wife. Essentially a husband is required
to love his wife. Most Jewish women are not aware that upon marriage they do
not have the right to divorce their husband. The reason here is complex, but
basically a husband acquires a wife in the sense of property that he is
responsible to maintain. Only he can discard his wife. A woman who attempts
to discard her husband is usually a zona. A profaned woman will make a
husband’s life very difficult without him understanding why. A divorcee
may bear similar psychological baggage that could affect a Kohen. Perhaps,
there are foreign women who are very religious, who would not have the values or
circumstances of a zona, but are still under this category by being a convert.
This was the case of Ruth, the Moabite. From here we learn that being a convert
is not a negative, for the proper quality of pride, not arrogance, is often
missing in the house of Israel and periodically reenters from converts. Ruth
was exceptional in her unselfishness towards her mother as a convert. This she
learned from the grace of growing up as princess, daughter of the king of the
Moabites.
Dearer to G-d than all of the Israelites who stood at Mount
Sinai is the convert. Had the Israelites not witnessed the lightning,
thunder, quaking mountain, and sounding trumpets, they would not have accepted
the Torah. However, the convert, who did not see or hear any of these
things, came and surrendered
herself to
G-d.
The Chofetz Chayim is the author of the Mishnah Berurah –
Clear Teaching, which is a commentary on the Shulhan Aruch – The Set
Table, the consolidated book of Jewish laws. Before he was able to write the
Mishnah Berurah, the Chofetz Chayim took a wife:
Text
22-5: Chofetz Chayim takes a Wife
The Chofetz Chayim’s father died when he was still a boy and his mother
remarried. When it came time for the Chofetz Chayim to take a wife, his
father-in-law mentioned to his mother that he would like the Chofetz for his
daughter. Now this daughter was already 10 years older than the Chofetz Chayim
who was only 16 and the mother didn’t know what to do. She knew her son
could marry anyone from all the greatest families and this daughter didn’t
have the same background. So she mentioned it to her son that “He wants
you to marry his daughter.”
The Chofetz Chayim could see the struggle on his mother’s face and no
sooner had she mentioned it that he agreed with the match. His brothers all
tried to dissuade him from the decision, but he remained firm.
When the Chofetz Chayim married this lady, he was not yet distinguished.
Years later he published all of his great books and became known as the great
Chofetz Chayim. When asked what did he attribute his success to? He told this
story, and said that because he listened carefully to his mother, to her
feelings, and chose this match, that everything he achieved was due to this
decision.
One must be careful in applying this story to
all shidduchim, but the story teaches the importance of listening to ones
parents. “For Rav punished any man who betrothed [a woman] in a market
place, or by intercourse, or without [previous]
shiddukin”
[1848] Rav
considered negotiations preliminary to betrothal essential for marriage. The
Shulchan Aruch confirms this position as the oral law in Even ha-Ezer
26:4.
[1849] http://www.soonbyyou.com
automates this service.
The Sayings of the Fathers provides guidance on
where to live:
Text
22-6: Perkei Avot 6:10
R. Jose B. Kisma said: once I was walking by the way when a man met me,
and gave me [the salutation of] 'peace', and I returned him [the salutation of]
peace'. Said he to me, Rabbi, from what place art thou?' said I to him, 'from a
great city of sages and scribes am I.' Said he to me, 'Rabbi, [should it be] thy
pleasure that thou dwell with us in our place, I will give thee a thousand
thousand denarii of gold, and precious stones and pearls.' said I to him: 'If
thou shouldst give me all the silver and gold, precious stones and pearls that
are in the world, I would not dwell [anywhere] excepting in a place of Torah;
for in the hour of the departure of a man [from the world], there accompany him
neither gold nor silver, nor precious stones nor pearls, but Torah and good
deeds alone, as it is said, WHEN THOU WALKEST, IT SHALL LEAD THEE, WHEN THOU
LIEST DOWN, IT SHALL WATCH OVER THEE; AND WHEN THOU WAKEST, IT SHALL TALK WITH
THEE. WHEN THOU WALKEST, IT SHALL LEAD THEE - in this
world,[1850] WHEN THOU LIEST
DOWN, IT SHALL WATCH OVER THEE - in the
grave,[1851] AND WHEN THOU
WAKEST, IT SHALL TALK WITH THEE - in the world to
come;[1852] and thus it is
written in the book of psalms by David, King of Israel, THE LAW OF THY MOUTH IS
BETTER UNTO ME THAN THOUSANDS OF GOLD AND SILVER, and it says [also]: MINE IS
THE SILVER, AND MINE THE GOLD, SAITH THE LORD OF HOSTS.Malachi
discusses the consequence of marrying out of the religion, abandoning ones
spouse and having spiritual
kin.
[1853]
Text
22-7: Malachi on Marriage, Abandonment, and Spiritual
Kin
11. Judah has dealt treacherously, and an abomination
is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah has profaned the holiness of
the Lord which he loved, and has married the daughter of a foreign
god.
12. The Lord will cut off all living offspring from
the tents of Jacob, from the man who does this, and from him who brings an
offering to the Lord of hosts.
13. And this again you do: you cover the altar of
the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with sighing, because he will not regard
the offering any more, nor receive it with good will from your
hand.
14. And you say, Why is this so? Because the Lord
has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been
faithless, yet is she your companion, and the wife of your
covenant.
15. And did not God make of you one flesh? So that
one should have a spiritual kin? And what does that one flesh seek?
A godly seed. Therefore take heed to your
spirit, that you do not be faithless to the
wife of your youth.
16. For to send her away is hateful, says the Lord,
the God of Israel, and covering one’s garment with violence, says the Lord
of hosts; therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not be
faithless.
A better translation of Malachi 2:15 is: “Zera Elohim
vNishmartem Bruachhem” – “godly seed
and guard their spirits”. Hence, a man should marry his soul
mate early in life, never postponing marriage for a career.
22.3 Children
One should always shower ones children with love and hugs. This assists in
the development of their self-esteem. Bedwetting is a problem that stems from
lack of positive complements to the child. Each night when putting the child to
sleep one should complement and state how one believes in them and their
potential. Overlook mistakes and give encouragement.
One must spend time
with ones child. If the child feels that she is the most important thing to the
parents, then she will grow up close to her parents’ values. If a child
is asking or behaving in a way completely out of the ordinary it is usually a
cry that the parents notice them and give them attention.
As a teenager a
child may rebel and be testy. One must encourage her with complements. This
gives her confidence to be successful in all challenges. When the child comes
from divorced parents one should accept the child’s discussion of both
sides so that the child feels right about her parents.
22.4 Getting
Along with Others and Homeland
The sons of Bilhah were Dan and Naphtali and those of Zilpah were Asher and
Gad. Joseph got along with the children of the
maidens.
[1854] Jerusalem is in
the territory of Benjamin. North of there is the territory of Ephraim and north
of Ephraim is Mannaseh’s land extending to the southern tip of the Sea of
the Galilee. North of Mannaseh is Issachar and Zebulin. Dan’s portion
is where Tel-Aviv is today along the central to northern coastline.
Asher’s is above that on the coastline.
Our Hebrew names are
our spiritual roots. My cousin Avraham Ellenbogen lives in Beer Sheva, much
like Abraham Avinu who chose that place as his home.
Maternal
GrandparentsAryeh Lev served as gabai of his shul, which meant he
maintained the order of services, distributed aliyahs, gave out prayer books,
and assisted guests. He was a quiet man with a good heart. His strength was
calmness and a good temperament. He was not prone to anger.
My maternal
grandmother was a charitable woman who sent care packages to her relatives in
Israel at the beginning of Israel’s statehood when there were few
supplies. When I visited Israel, I found that she is well remembered by Sima
Talmon of Kibbutz Maale HaHamisha. She was a dynamic lady who enjoyed
entertaining guests and socializing.
Paternal GrandparentsMy
grandmother was a righteous woman who would fast Monday and Thursday, while my
grandfather sought for hiding places during the Holocaust. She read
T’hillim and Tanach for hours each day. She was a pious woman with a
saintly heart. She died on Erev Rosh Hodesh before sunset on the last day of
Adar.
I remember one particular story she would tell me emphatically from
Ezekiel. This was the story of the “Valley of Dry Bones”. G-d set
Ezekiel down in a valley and all around were bones. G-d asked Ezekiel,
“Can these bones yet live?” Ezekiel responded, “Oh G-d, only
thou knowest.” G-d said prophesy unto these bones that they should have
flesh upon them and spirit within them. Ezekiel prophesied and it happened. G-d
said:
Text
22-8: The Restoration of the House of Israel
Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel;
although, they say, our bones are dried,
and our hope is lost:
we are cut off; they will yet rise up and I will bring
them
back into the land of Israel.
(Ezekiel
37:11-12)
My grandmother’s favorite saying was “Everything will work out
for the best.” Her favorite charity was the Rabbi Meir Baal Haness
Z”l center, the miracle worker, in Tiberias, Israel. My Grandmother
obtained the following teaching perhaps from a Rabbi and wrote it down for
me:
Text
22-9: Tikkun for Agnosticism
We cannot know for sure if G-d exists, but we have an
innate conviction that He does,
and that the teachings of the skeptics
leads only down a dark and lonely path.
My grandmother had two daughters. Hilda, the oldest lives in Germany.
Lunia, died in the Holocaust as a baby. There are tragedies in the Holocaust
too painful to recount. Like the moon which waxes and wanes, Lunia’s life
waned too fast. What are the meanings of these tragedies? What does G-d want
us to learn?
Great UncleMy great uncle Joseph and his family
were murdered in the
holocaust.
[1855] My maternal
grandmother’s brother was very kind and caring for the needs of those
around him. He was a good family man. He lived in Germany and had two
children. When Hitler rose to power he had the choice of leaving to Poland or
another country like Switzerland. Since he had two sisters in Poland, he chose
Poland, while his wife’s parents went to Switzerland and survived.
Meditation 22-1: Nuriel, Vowel Ascents, Tiferet Souls, the
Pomegranate of Eden, and the Smile
Ira led the meditation at Beth
Shalom.[1856] We
started with Michael on the right, Gavriel on the left, Uriel in front, and
Raphael behind. I had an experience of Nuriel descending directly upon me. I
experienced tremendous power without emotion; the total balance of the Angel.
The power was overwhelming and I opened my eyes to look at the candlelight. The
light (NaRiel) of the candles balanced the Angel’s energy within me and He
ascended. The angels at my sides parted their hands and I inserted my own
between them and we rose.
Around me the world of Malchuts was blue with the glistening of gem
stone lights along cave walls. Above me the deep blue sky was parting and we
passed through into the orange landscape of Yesod. The intrusion of the light
of a living soul attracted the angels around. I then pronounced the name
yy with the vowel
‘T’ and
ascended to Tiferets. There I stood in the
Garden[1857] and saw the bright
light of a soul before me. I inquired who he was and he responded,
“Look into my soul and you shall know
me.” He wore a continuous smile on his face and I saw that he
was my great uncle Joseph, Z”l whose name I bear. He asked me if I would
like him to show me around? I asked to see the Tree of Knowledge. It stood by
the Tree of Life but was smaller. I asked what is the fruit it bears? He said
look and you will know. I saw a red fruit. It was a pomegranate. I asked, why
is the pomegranate the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge?
He said, each seed is like a fruit in its own
right and this reflects all of creation. There are worlds within
worlds. I asked, what is the secret of peace and happiness? He took
me up to the world of Daat and I saw the parting of Abba and
Imma.[1858] I entered the space
between them. The space of Daat is not a world, but the revelation of
knowledge. I saw the answer was in his smile. To always wear a smile is to
give contentment to others and thus oneself. I asked, what is the secret of
how to wear a smile? He said one must let negative energy leave the body.
Negative energy can leave via the eyes. One’s eyes can also bless
others.
Table 22-1:
Father's Family Tree
|
Ancestor
|
1st Generation
|
2nd Generation
|
3rd generation
|
|
|
Ovadiah
|
Moshe
|
|
|
|
|
Helen
|
|
Hilda
|
|
|
|
? (great-grandfather)
|
|
Abraham Tzvi Spiegel
|
|
|
|
Lea (great-grandmother)
|
Sara
|
Lunia
|
|
|
|
Abraham (Sara’s brother)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joseph (Sara’s brother)
|
|
|
Jeff Spiegel
|
|
|
Yakov Avinu
|
|
Jacob Spiegel
|
Steven Jay Spiegel
|
|
Table 22-2:
Mother's Family Tree
|
Ancestor
|
|
|
3rd Generation
|
|
|
Nathan Ellenbogen
+
Pearl Lazer
|
Lev Avraham
Louis 1893
Married to Minnie Lobel
|
Ruth – 1940
|
Jeffrey Nathan Spiegel – born @ 8:35 PM
1st of Adar
II, 5722 Tuesday evening, Yom Reveee (4th day of the week), Rosh
Hodesh
|
|
|
|
|
Gayle Patricia Chellis – born @ 4:15 AM, 14 th of
Nisan, 5721, Friday morning, Yom Shishi (6 th day of the week), Erev
Pesach (the day of the Passover
evening) [1860] |
|
Rosh Hodesh Adar 5764 – watched the ‘The Ideal
Husband’. This is a good movie about character under trying
circumstances, a Victorian society film combining themes from Nathaniel
Hawthorne with the flare of Shakespeare—highly recommended.
22.5 Conversion
The Jewish principle of identity is that the religion follows the
mother of the child while the family follows the father. Hence a person’s
religion is according to the mother, while a child’s ‘tribe’
i.e. whether one is Cohen, Levi, or Israel, is after the father. When a
stranger dwells within the Jewish community, and shows her preference and
observes the commandments, s/he is like Ruth the Moabite who followed after her
mother-in-law and became ancestor of Jewish kings:
Text
22-10: Numbers 15:13-16 and 15:29-30 on
Conversion
All who are native born shall do these things after this ordinance, in
offering an offering made by fire, of a sweet savor to the Lord. And if a
stranger sojourns with you, or whoever is among you in your generations, and
will offer an offering made by fire, of a sweet savor to the Lord; as you do, so
he shall do. One ordinance shall be both for you of the congregation, and also
for the stranger who sojourns with you, an ordinance forever in your
generations; as you are, so shall the stranger be before the Lord. One Torah
and one code shall be for you, and for the stranger who sojourns with
you.
...
You shall have one Torah for him who sins through ignorance, both for him who
is born among the people of Israel, and for the stranger who sojourns among
them. But the soul who does anything presumptuously, whether he is born in the
land or a stranger, that person dishonors the Lord; and that soul shall be cut
off from among his people.
The Hebrew word for
‘stranger’ is ‘ger’ which also means
‘convert’. The essence of conversion is to dwell within the Jewish
community. For years in Poland and other countries, conversion simply occurred
when a non-Jew entered the Jewish community and began to dwell with a Jew. This
differs from modern day America, where it is often the Jew, who is the stranger
dwelling in the non-Jewish community, assimilating to the surrounding culture,
has vshalom.
Nevertheless, rabbinical conversion is often phony and
transient, as the vows of the convert, like the vows of any person, are often
discarded over time. Real conversion is simply a person living in the Jewish
community and like Ruth accepting our people as her people, accepting our
commandments as her commandments.
Text
22-11: Yevamot 47a-b
Our Rabbis taught: If at the present time a man desires to become a proselyte,
he is to be addressed as follows: ‘What reason have you for desiring to
become a proselyte; do you not know that Israel at the present time are
persecuted and oppressed, despised, harassed and overcome by afflictions’?
If he replies, ‘I know and yet am unworthy’, he is accepted
forthwith, and is given instruction in some of the minor and some of the major
commandments. He is informed of the sin [of the neglect of the commandments of]
Gleanings, the Forgotten Sheaf, the Corner and the Poor Man's Tithe. He is also
told of the punishment for the transgression of the commandments. Furthermore,
he is addressed thus: ‘Be it known to you that before you came to this
condition, if you had eaten suet you would not have been punishable with kareth,
if you had profaned the Sabbath you would not have been punishable with stoning;
but now were you to eat suet you would be punished with kareth; were you to
profane the Sabbath you would be punished with stoning’. And as he is
informed of the punishment for the transgression of the commandments, so is he
informed of the reward granted for their fulfillment. He is told, ‘Be it
known to you that the world to come was made only for the righteous, and that
Israel at the present time are unable to bear either too much prosperity. or too
much suffering’. He is not, however, to be persuaded or dissuaded too
much. If he accepted, he is circumcised forthwith. Should any shreds which
render the circumcision invalid remain, he is to be circumcised a second time.
As soon as he is healed arrangements are made for his immediate ablution, when
two learned men must stand by his side and acquaint him with some of the minor
commandments and with some of the major ones. When he comes up after his
ablution he is deemed to be an Israelite in all respects.
In the case of a woman proselyte, women make her sit in the water up to her
neck, while two learned men stand outside and give her instruction in some of
the minor commandments and some of the major ones.
The same law applies to a proselyte and to an emancipated slave; and only where
a menstruant may perform her ablution may a proselyte and an emancipated slave
perform this ablution; and whatever is deemed an interception in ritual bathing
is also deemed to be an interception in the ablutions of a proselyte, an
emancipated slave and a menstruant.
The Master said, ‘If a man desires to become a proselyte . . . he is to
be addressed as follows: "What reason have you for desiring to become a
proselyte . . ." and he is made acquainted with some of the minor, and with some
of the major commandments’. What is the reason? — In order that if
he desire to withdraw let him do so; for R. Helbo said: Proselytes are as hard
for Israel [to endure] as a sore, because it is written in Scripture. And the
proselyte shall join himself with them, and they shall cleave to the house of
Jacob.
‘He is informed of the sin [of the neglect of the commandment of]
Gleanings, the Forgotten Sheaf, the Corner and the Poor Man's Tithe’. What
is the reason? — R. Hiyya b. Abba replied in the name of R. Johanan:
Because a Noahide would rather be killed than spend so much as a perutah which
is not returnable.
‘He is not, however, to be persuaded, or dissuaded too much’. R.
Eleazar said: What is the Scriptural proof? — It is written, And when she
saw that she was steadfastly minded to go with her, she left off speaking unto
her. ‘We are forbidden’, she told her, ‘[to move on the
Sabbath beyond the] Sabbath boundaries’! — ‘Whither thou
goest’ [the other replied] ‘I will go’.
‘We are forbidden private meeting between man and woman’! —
‘Where thou lodgest. I will lodge’
‘We have been commanded six hundred and thirteen commandments’!
— ‘Thy people shall be my people’.
‘We are forbidden idolatry’! — ‘And thy God my
God’.
‘Four modes of death were entrusted to Beth din’! —
‘Where thou diest, will I die’.
‘Two graveyards were placed at the disposal of the Beth din’!
— ‘And there will I be buried’. Presently she saw that she was
steadfastly minded etc.
‘If he accepted, he is circumcised forthwith’. What is the reason?
— The performance of a commandment must not in any way be
delayed.
22.6 Mission
The Jewish mission is to enlighten the world with Torah. We must go
door-to-door to share our wisdom, to counter false beliefs, and to elevate
Jewish self-esteem. Both Jewish men and Jewish women should serve a mission.
We need to establish Jewish Institutes of Learning so that singles will
have places to meet and marry. These should be collocated with colleges and
universities. Jewish singles should have their own places of worship to
facilitate meetings. Jewish single synagogues should have non-paid
clergy.
22.7 Relationships
The angels in heaven are
Hayot,
[1861] beings similar in
relationship to G-d as animals are in relation to
man.
[1862] The Midrash
asks:
Text
22-12: Perkei Avot: “Who is
honored”
Who is honored?
He who honors all living beings
(Kal HaBriyot).
The Midrash teaches that one must show honor for other living creatures
to be honored not just human beings. The word love,
ahavah in Hebrew is
of the same root as
yahav, the word for ‘give’ in Aramaic.
This teaches us to love is to give. The Gemara teaches to give three prutah,
small coins, as tzedakah before prayer. That is to say even the gift of three
small coins is significant in G-d’s eyes as an act of love.
In
order for God to have created the world, he withdrew from the
‘center’ to make a
space.
[1863] Nevertheless,
because nothing can exist without God, a
kav, a ray of light reentered
the space to sustain creation. Similarly, when people want to learn to love,
they must also withdraw from the center. They must grow out of the point of
being children in the center of attention to let the relationship
occur.
Hashem creates the world with words, but rests on Shabbat. Yet,
the world cannot exist without Hashem continuously recreating it. During the
week, this is with words, but on Shabbat, G-d rests. From here, we learn that
Hashem sustains the world with thought on Shabbat. Unlike words, thought does
not distort. Thought is Hashem’s intended creation in perfect form, His
Thought. This is why Friday night is so special a time for intimacy. At this
moment, we are closest to Hashem’s intention.
Jewish love is to
be in love with the idea of marriage, not necessarily with ones spouse. The
idea of marriage perseveres, even when the newness of love wears off. In love,
there is unity, one body. This means that when the other’s body is ailing
one feels for the suffering and vice-versa. To be in love with the idea of
marriage means to give and fulfill her commandments.
The Ayn Aur, an
infinite light surrounds all of creation. Angels reside in this place; this is
the world of Yetzirah. Why do we bid the angels ‘goodbye’ so soon
after we greet them on Shabbat? This is because when they arrive at the Shabbat
observant house, the heat of the spirit of observance so overwhelms them that
they cannot bear to stay in its
presence.
[1864] Yet, we know
that they dwell in heaven so what could be more overwhelming here on Earth. The
unity of God’s presence with his people overwhelms the experience of the
angels in heaven. Why is there no blessing before intimacy? There is a
blessing that one recites as part of the marriage ceremony sanctifying intimacy
and progeny from the relationship. Yet, when one says a blessing, one must act
upon it immediately for it to last. This teaches that all of the marriage
between husband and wife is an intimacy, not just the sexual act that is
separated by spates of time. Intimacy is not just
sex.
[1865]
22.8 Home
Choosing a home is an important item for spiritual inspiration.
Particularly beneficial for meditation is a home that has windows facing east.
A view of mountains or water will help ones inspiration. Size is not as
significant in a home as pleasant scenery and a quiet location.
Ever
notice that most temples (churches) are designed with steeples or spires.
Within our mental code, such images remind us of mountains where water, herbs,
and wildlife are found. Most importantly, such visages remind us of our
insignificance and deflate anger, worry, and other personal
obsessions.
22.9 Orphan
Sometimes a person is an orphan and doesn’t know where he comes from.
In some ways, each of us needs to make a decision on our own identity, who we
will be.
Text
22-13: Duncan McCloud to Richie: Highlander “Family
Tree”
You get to decide who you are, not many people get that
chance.
[1837] Star Trek Next
Generation, Episode 265:
Homeward
[1838] Lessons that
I learn from my father, Avraham Tzvi ben
Moshe
[1839] Tish
B’Av
5760
[1840] Mafteah
ha-Tokahot translated in The Mystical Expereince in Abraham
Abulafia
, Moshe Idel, p.
188.
[1841] “48 MS
Oxford 1605, fol. 7b; cf. Or ha-Sekel, MS. Vatican 233, fol. 128a, ‘and
according to the prophet who derives pleasure in attaining the form of prophecy
[i.e., a mystical experience].’”—Ibid. p.
213
[1842] A woman who
tacitly or overtly discourages her husband from prayer is not Jewish. The
converse is not necessarily
true.
[1843] These are notes
based on conversations with Rabbi Finehandler, author of Beloved Companions.
June 12
th
1999.
[1844] One should
divorce a wife who wakes her husband for snoring so that he has no
rest.
[1845] Gemara Yevamos,
Rabbi Aryeh Rosenfeld,
Yevamos
lecture[1846] See Health
chapter on
Hormones[1847]
Midrash Rabbah Genesis 22:2 quoted in The Judaic Tradition, Nahum N. Glatzer,
p.206.
[1848] Talmud
Kiddushin 12b
[1849]
Celebration & Renewal, Edited by Rela M. Geffen, p.96 and p.124 footnote
26
[1850] Proverbs
6:22
[1851] “Midrash
Tehillim to Ps. I, 3, adds, ‘from the worms,’ and Gen. Rab. XXXV
read, ‘in the hour of death’”—Soncino Talmud Mishnah
Avot
[1852] “MV:
‘it shall speak for thee,’ i.e., intercede on thy
behalf.”—Soncino Talmud Mishnah Avot. The Hebrew uses the word
“siah” meaning the Torah will converse with you, like the sounds of
grasses blowing in the
wind.
[1853] Malachi
2:11-16
[1854] See
Parsha
Vayeshev[1855] My first
name Yosef is after him while my middle name Nathan is after my maternal
great-grandfather. In Judaism if one is named after someone whose life was
short, one takes upon oneself a middle name of someone who lived to a ripe old
age so that the soul forces are blended for the good in oneself.
[1856] Yesod in Tiferets on
the Counting of the Omer – April 24, 1996
[1857] Upper of Garden of
Eden
[1858] Father and
mother.
[1859] Hersh is a
deer. Tzvi is a deer in Hebrew. Tzvi brother of Sarah. Abraham was
Sarah’s father.
[1860]
Sergeant Limo, Mr. Tux, the Gazoo (Flintstone alien), Tov, and the Barney and
Clara show are there
too.
[1861] Hayot is the
Hebrew word for animals as
well.
[1862] Rivkah Slonim,
SUNY Binghamton Chabad director speaking at SLC retreat
8/01/03
[1863]
Ibid.
[1864] Ibid.
[1865] As for a blessing
before sex, we are instructed not to recite blessings in vain and we do not know
ahead of time what will occur.